Freaky Friday: Honest real estate ads you will never see in print:

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Just for Fun in Winter

courtesy of famveldman ©

Why do listing agents continually try to put lipstick on pigs? We are forever trying to put our listings in their best possible light. That’s our job. But what would happen if we were brutally honest about a property?

Here is some brutally honest copy that will never see the light of day on a real listing:

  • Heart healthy living! Five story walk-up with no nearby parking.
  • This home comes complete with a state-of-the-art security system. The perfect amenity for this high crime neighborhood.
  • Everything in this lovely home is vintage – including the electrical and plumbing which dates back to 1925.
  • Your brand new “green” home has state-of-the-art plastic plumbing and low-flow toilets that tend to clog.
  • Be prepared to be blown away by the marvelous cathedral ceiling that graces the living area. You will also be knocked off your feet by the heating and cooling bills that go with it.
  • A state-of-the art drainage system has been newly installed in this beautiful home located in a flood zone.
  • This low maintenance yard is the size of a postage stamp.
  • Never worry about getting snowed in. This home has a bus stop right by your front door.
  • Voyeur’s special: you can look into every room of your neighbor’s house without ever leaving the comfort of your own home.
  • Thanks to an unusually active hurricane season, this beautiful home is now situated on a newly created beach-front.

Note that Krys Jaronski and Julie Moslow contributed substantively to this blog. Thanks for the input and I hope you approve of the end result.

© 2009 Ruthmarie Garcia Hicks

Please feel free to contact me anytime to request additional information or to set up an appointment so we can explore your listing or purchasing needs. I am easy to reach by phone, text or email. Or, if you just want to continue your search online, the links below will help you get started.

Phone/Text: 914-374-5529


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